How time flies by...

Today is the second snow day in a row and as I sat in bed (I'm literally under the weather) I thought this is a perfect time to post an update.

I had made it a New Years Resolution to be a better blogger so I think I'm doing well since it's only Feb. 2nd.

Let me just update really quickly:

- still living at home which has been an experience all of its own. I have learned to be so much more patient and to try to think before I speak. I have not moved out yet despite the fact that I have a job teaching. The problem with this is that I am a short term hire and get a pink slip at the end of the year. This of course means that I am not sure I'll be able to find another job here in Abq due to tremendous budget cuts. So I am stuck for now until I find a job next year that will be permanent. I still would love to move but teaching jobs are difficult to come by everywhere these days.

- still in school. I am finishing my last semester of graduate school and should be graduating, barring any unforeseen bad grades, this May. The entire experience of working on a masters degree and teaching my first year has been the hardest thing I've ever done. It is a constant balancing act and one thing is always lacking. While I am looking forward to May and being done I am actually considering starting my Doctorate of Education in August. Crazy I know, but exciting at the same time.

- I love teaching. I took over a 2nd grade classroom 2 weeks into the beginning of the school year. Every moment of the last 2 years has been worth it. The first year of teaching has been such an amazing experience. While I am devastated by the failure of our education system as a whole (I'm sure I'll have lots to say about this shortly), I am reminded daily of the power that learning can have on a child's self-esteem.

- My relationship. John and I are still officially together. I had considered breaking it off but have decided that standing by someone you love and care about when they are in their darkest moment is what I would want from him. While I don't think I should say too much I will say that depression is a terrible daemon to fight alone and it can rob you of your desire for living very quickly. The strange thing is that I myself suffer from depression and have been on medication for 20 years. I know what life is like when I don't take my medication and I allow that daemon to take over. But despite the fact that I am intimately acquainted with how John is feeling I still took it personal. I thought that because my love wasn't bringing him out of it that he didn't care for me. I was wrong! Now that John has agreed to take medication and start dealing with his past I know he will once again be that amazing man I fell in love with.

So that's about it. I wish I had fun and exciting hobbies to report on but really I have so little time. I will start posting some of the fun things from my classroom as that is where all my creativity is going.

I'll post some pictures as well. Just for the fun of it. Because who wants to read all that and not see pictures, right?

This is my class on Halloween. We had a party and watched "The Witches". The kids absolutely loved that book and were so excited to see the movie.
Here we are in our costumes. It was a "storybook parade" and we all had to dress up as a literary character. I of course was Pippi Longstocking!
This picture was taken at Thanksgiving. How I love my gorgeous sisters!!!

John and I this past September. I'll post a more current one when I transfer it off my iphone.

One Mother of an update!!

In my last post (in Januray) I said I was going to post more often. Well that didn't happen but I do have a good excuse...full time grad school and full time student teaching!

My first semester went great. I was placed in a 2nd/3rd grade combo class and fell in love with the kids and teaching immediately. I learned much more than I ever imagined I would and I feel less prepared now to teach than I did before. There is bliss in personal ignorance. =0)

This is a picture of a "field trip" that we took with two of our professors. I have really grown to love my cohort. Each one is going to make such an incredible teacher!
This is a picture of the girls in my class. We were going to the ballet to see Cinderella so they dressed up.
MacArthur Elementary School

The spring semester ended and I had 3 weeks off before the summer semester started. I have 3 days left of summer and I am so happy it's almost over. It has been an incredible mountain of work but I am proud to say I climbed and conquered. lol

My program, which was a partnership between APS and UNM, was cancelled due to the budget crisis. I'm still trying to track down the Super Intendant's address because he deserves to be toilette papered! (That's as extreme as my terrorist tactics get) So instead of teaching my internship year this fall I'll be working part time and in school full time. The idea is that we will all be fully certified at the end of December which could pottentially offer us an opportunity to find a job in January. I'm not sure how realistic that is, but one never knows. I will be finishing my masters thesis in the Spring semester and graduate in May. I have been lucky enough to get a job working for an awesome Orthodontist in my ward so that I can make a little bit of money to supplement the stipend that was lost when our program was cancelled.

Life is wonderful!

I haven't been the best blogger lately. I should give some excellent excuse but the truth is I've just been lazy and avoiding the follow up to my last post in which I declared that I was going to run a 5K. The great thing is that I truly believed it at the time and I had every intention of following through. But then I simply changed my mind. Probably because it got too hard or hurt too much to do the running that I needed to do. I realize that's not an attractive quality to posses but it's mine and Im owning it. So there...I'm a quitter.

But being a quitter isn't always a bad thing. Quitting smoking or drinking for example, that's a great thing! Maybe I need to quit quitting... Nah, that's way too complicated for me.

So not much happened in the end of 2009. I was substitute teaching and of course found out that I was admitted to the University of New Mexico for their Masters program in Elementary Education with Licenser. But other than that, nothing news worthy.

The program started Jan. 4th and I just completed the first week. The course load is heavy and the work is monumental but unlike the 5K there will be no quitting. I worked so hard to get accepted and I am certain that this is exactly where Heavenly Father wants me to be.

So I will start posting regular updates as interesting things happen. In the meantime I'll remain a committed running quitter and will continue to feel no guilt about it at all.

Run Rudolph Run

Two years ago I decided to really lose weight. I have been on one diet or another for what seems like my whole life, but I had yo-yo'd myself to 245lbs. At 5'4" that was a lot of weight to carry around. Through a friend, I found a program that really worked for me and I lost 65lbs in little over 3 months. Suddenly I was 180lbs and had dropped from a size 22 to a 14. I was ecstatic and very motivated to keep going. I wanted to get down to 145 and I wasn't going to take no for an answer. I kept working the program and six months later...I was still at 180lbs. In fact, 18 months later I am still at 180lbs.

So it's time for a change! I am not focusing on the damn scale anymore and I'm going to conquer my exercises demons and run a 5K. Now I know to some of you that might seem like a stroll in the park but to a gal like me who can't run around the track without the assistance of an oxygen tank, it's a big challenge.

So how will I achieve this very crazy goal?

The Couch-to-5K Running Plan

I started this program yesterday and so far so good.

Today was my second workout in week 1. The program is 9 weeks long which gives me just enough time to prepare for the Run Rudolph Run 5K on Dec. 6th, 2009. That of course means absolutely NO EXCUSES and by blogging about it here I am hoping that you will all keep me accountable. I guess I'll be living proof if this program works.

So send me your good thoughts and prayers (yes prayers I'm going to need them), and keep checking up on me.

I'll be letting you all knowhow it's going.

A Bag of Tools

Isn't it strange how princes and kings,
and clowns that caper in sawdust rings,
and common people, like you and me,
are builders for eternity?

Each is given a list of rules;
a shapeless mass; a bag of tools.
And each must fashion, ere life is flown,
A stumbling block, or a Stepping-Stone.

by R. Lee Sharpe

I first read this poem when we liven in Provo many years ago. I found it in a binder in my Dad's office that turned out to be a school project that he had made many years before. It was a binder full of poems and the very first one was A Bag of Tools. I read it several times that day and put it back in the bookshelf. As the years passed I often thought of the poems last line and tried to think of the obstacles in my life as an opportunity to grow, a chance to climb one step closer to my end goal.

A couple of days ago I was trying to re-arrange my room (Dad's office that I am currently living in) to give myself a little more room and I came across the same binder. I opened it up to the first poem and read the words again. This morning as I got up and put yesterday behind me, because believe me it was a very bad day, I realized that the hurt and pain we feel when we loose someone or they hurt us is inevitable, but the circumstances themselves are open for interpretation. I can't control the pain I feel or the loss of the relationship but I can choose to use this experience as a stepping stone. So I got dressed, ate some cereal, made some brownies to thank someone for being so kind to me and embraced the ache in my heart a little more than yesterday.

Caution!

I went on a little hike this past weekend in the Sandia Mountains to get some time away from the family and to love on myself a little. It was a beautiful New Mexico day and I felt a feeling of peace come over me as soon as I stepped out on the trail. I took a backpack filled with trail mix ,water, my journal and my favorite fountain pen that my cousin Mirjam sent me from Switzerland a while back. I had this idea of finding some secluded meadow of wild flowers and spending hours writing and lounging in the warm sun and the light breeze.

The trail was filled with families, groups of cute men who I think were gay (why are the cute ones either married or gay?), hand holding couples, dogs with long panting tongues hanging from their mouths, and me. Oh and one really good looking trail runner that inspired me to be in better shape as he ran past me. The trail is 1.5 miles across the top of the mountain to the top of the tram where High Finance Restaurant is located and then the same route back. As I made it to the tram station I noticed a sign (above) placed to warn visitors that had just taken the tram up the mountain and were stepping into the wilderness for the first time. I thought to myself that I needed a sign like that in my life, a sign to caution me when I am entering hazardous terrain. And then I realized that I already have a caution sign, the Holy Ghost! He warns me of danger and of a bumpy trail a head. He cautions me to proceed carefully and to be aware of the terrain. He isn't as obvious or as brightly colored as the sign on the trail but he is always with me. My Father in Heaven knew that my road would be rough at times, that I would be traveling through mountainous terrain, and that I would need caution and guidance.

As I hiked back to the car to head home I thought about my life and all the twists and turns my road has taken the past 5 months. I thought about the unexpected place my trail had taken me and how just like my hike that day I wasn't sitting in a meadow of wild flowers but was scrambling over boulders and tree roots instead. It hasn't been an easy hike, and it's far from over, but I felt blessed that my Heavenly Father reminded me that I am not alone and that I always have His guidance and warning signs if I just pay attention.

Mothers Day, Graduation and State...GO BEARS!

hApPy MoThErS dAy MoM aNd GrOsSi!!!

My Grandmother (my mothers mother) came to visit us from Australia. Having her in Albuquerque for Mother's Day was an added bonus. We all agree that she is a total blast to have around. She can make you laugh for hours!! Her heart is pure gold and we miss her already!

Christine graduated from La Cueva High School. 15 years ago I graduated from the same place. We had a wonderful time watching her and there were moments it seemed impossible that she is now 18 and a young woman.

This is often what it looks like when the four of us are together. We laugh non-stop and I can't think of a time when I have ever been happier than when I am with them.

I love this picture of Christine! I love seeing her so in love and Warrick is an incredible young man. It doesn't surprise me that her first love is such an incredible person.


State Track and Field Competition was the weekend following graduation. Christine has ran track all four years of high school and will try and run at UNM this fall. She is an incredible athlete. She had a hard time on the day of finals. It was crazy weather with wind gusts up to 40 mph. She is barely 100 lbs and running into that kind of wind was almost impossible.

Her heart was broken and she really questioned if she was any good. It was heartbreaking to see her fail at something she wanted so passionately. She wanted the state title in hurdles and on another day she might have gotten it. It was a hard lesson to learn but needed none the less. It truly is about the journey and not the destination.

She is such an inspiration to me. I strive every day to be more like her. She has a fierce determination to be the best that she can be and I want to emulate that.

Christine was the High-Point athlete for her team. She competed in 100m hurdles, 300m hurdles, triple jump. 4x100m relay, 4x400 meter relay. She has ran and jumped more events than any other girl on her team. I am so proud of her and can't wait to see what she does next.

Olivia (junior) has always been a basketball player. This year she decided to play softball and made the Varsity team. They went to State and took 3rd. We traveled to Las Cruces to see the finals and it was so great to see her play. She plays left field and couldn't possibly be any better. She made some incredible plays that went so fast I didn't even have time to watch let alone react.

She has an incredible mind for the game and I can't imagine how far she will go her senior year. She may actually get a chance to play in college.

But more than just her amazing athletic gift...she is the best person I have ever met. Her heart is un-matched. I have never heard her say a negative thing about anyone. She loves everyone she meets. She touches every person she comes in contact with. I know that she is a choice and special daughter of Heavenly Father and I know that he keeps her close to his heart. There is nothing more precious than looking at her amazing smile. I can only hope to be the amazing individual that she is. Actually, we can all only hope to be that full of love.