Saturday, February 18, 2012

Pinterest, Easter and a new Printer

I have to be at Flick's for dinner in an hour and I look terrible.  This must, as a result, be a very quick post but I am happy to share fun things.  Especially after the downer post I subjected you all to a couple of days ago.  By the way, just as an update, I am feeling so much better!  

So...first things first!  PINTEREST!!! How am i so behind on this amazing site?  Why have I not known about this until now?  Well I have quickly rectified this situation and I am happy to be pinning away.  What a fantastic idea that is.  I so often see things that I know I need to keep track of and then when the time comes I can't find it anywhere.  Well no more of that, thank you very much!  

I went shopping with Rob and Jo today and I dragged them (much against their will) to Volkiland to the Casa.  I got some amazingly cute things including my new Easter centerpiece.  I would normally do this with a tree branch or a craft tree but I can’t find that here so this will have to do.  Don’t you just love it?  (It’s ok if you don’t, because I do!!)

You may have noticed that my new centerpiece is on top of what you might think is an ugly box.  But in fact it is my new PRINTER!!! I’m so excited to finally have a color laser printer.  I’ve installed it and already printed a couple of pages. 

Life is good! Now off to Flick’s to eat, drink and be merry.

P.S.  If you haven't been over to my teaching blog you should quickly have a peak.  I ordered a new teaching bag and it's so darn cute.  Check it out at Chalk and Slate!!!

Thursday, February 16, 2012

The Beast Inside

Ive had people ask me what its like to suffer from depression.  This has never been an easy question to answer.  Unless the one asking has a frame of reference it is very difficult to really understand.

I was diagnosed with chemical depression when I was 14 years old.  I started my journey along the path of antidepressants at that time.  I spent most of my 20s going off and on my medication and paying for that inconsistency with a life full of extreme emotional swings. Towards the end of my twenties I started seeking counseling to help me with some childhood issues.  It was during these sessions that I learned more about my diagnosis.  My counselor explained to me that my chemical imbalance was to be treated like an insulin deficiency and that I had a responsibility to take my medication daily. 

Over the course of the last 7 years I have found the exact dosage and medication type that works best for me.  The medication that I take currently is Zoloft.  I used to be on two different medications but was switched to Zoloft to try and help combat my anxiety disorder as well.  The results have been fantastic for my daily mood stabilization. 
What is important to know, especially if you are not one of the 121 million people who have some form of depression, is that even with medication the beat as I call it, can rear its ugly head.

My beast has been raging an assault these last 5 days.  I have felt my sanity slipping at times and have succumbed to a murky fog that has chained me to my own emotional prison.  I am trapped inside my own pain and can see the beast attacking.  I am a rational person and I know that I have to fight.  But how does one fight when then the fog and the murk become too thick? 

I sometimes liken depression to swimming through a huge pool of jello.  You cant drown in it but you have to work harder than you can ever imagine making it to the other side.  Thats where I am right now.  I am in an endless pool of jello, slowly fighting my way to the edge. 

Some wonder why, even with medication, the beast appears.  I dont have an answer for that.  But I know from experience that without the medication the battle is a hopeless cause.