Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Can't sleep

It's just after mid-night and I can't sleep. I'm beginning to think that having the lap top in bed with me is a bad idea. But I'll try to weene myself off starting tomorrow.

I often can't find a way to shut off my brain and tonight is no exception. Even though I know that 5am will hurt like hell. Because you see I can't sleep now but I would have no problem slumbering my way into the early afternoon hours. Especially on a work day. Anyway, tonight seems worse than usual. I think that's the worste part about a failed relationship, lost friendship or broken heart. It's not the pain itself, but the self inflicted torture.

I've been thinking a lot about applying for a job in Switzerland. Could be my last opportunity to go back before marriage and kids (a girl can dream). That's what I'm telling myself but deep down I think I'm just wanting to run away from the memories and the ghosts that haunt me here in town.

Maybe this idea is something to discuss with my therapist.

No comments: